Comment Wall
Image by Caitlyn Buckley "Lake Eufala" January 2018
Here you will find my portfolio site, Finding Mythology, to read my stories and such. Feel free to comment below anything you would like to discuss from it.
Introduction: Who is Caitlyn?
Picture on the left: This is me at the OKC Zoo. As you can tell, I'm a super serious person. Hello world! My name is Caitlyn and I like to think that I’m a fairly interesting person. I am studying linguistics with a minor in Spanish. If you are unfamiliar with linguistics, that’s totally fine. Most people I encounter outside of my major don’t really know what it is either. Linguistics is a sub-field of anthropology that focuses on language. I really like the more technical aspects of my major. For example, I really love phonetics, a sub-field of linguistics. This field focuses on the sounds of languages and how they are produced. My favorite class from last semester was my syntax class. This class was one for my major and it focused on grammar in language. We started out by making grammar rules for English and then built upon them. By the end of the semester, our grammar rules could theoretically work for any human language. I think that is really cool and ex
Hi Caitlyn!
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio site seems to be coming along well so far! I love the pictures you've used, especially for your first story. I’m excited to see you add more, especially to the home page. I would recommend putting a link to your comment wall there so it’s easier for readers to leave feedback.
The myth itself was a nice read, and I think the simplistic style really worked for the tale. As I read, I thought it seemed like it was the sort of writing that anyone could read and connect to, and it was cool to see in your author’s note that that’s what you were going for! I also found myself wanting to know more about Susa-no-wo. You mention that he is Amaterasu's brother and that he's scary, but nothing else, and it made me very curious about their relationship.
You might want to consider adding an exclamation point or two when Uzume says, "We are
praising the most beautiful princess. She is more beautiful than all the oceans and brighter than the sun. Come, look and see our beautiful princess." It seems like the sort of thing that would be said excitedly, and exclamation points would help signify that.
Overall I really enjoyed checking out your site and reading your first story, and I can’t wait to see what you do next!
Caitlyn,
ReplyDeleteThe image you have on your portfolio page for the sun goddess is fabulous, it really draws the eye. I liked your story, but I wondered if you are trying to make it a more modern retelling if you could possibly try changing the names of the deities to distinguish it from the original story? You could also try putting them in human form and having the sun goddess be a real princess that flees and her brother could be abusive to the people or whatever. The moon goddess could be her best friend. I also thought you might try having a specific theme for your portfolio, I know it is finding mythology but that is pretty vague. You could do a region or a time period or a certain set of deities. I love all the images you have so far and cannot wait to read more of your stories! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Caitlyn!
When I was on your project site, I did not see a link to your comment wall. Is there a link on your portfolio project website? I wasn't sure if I overlooked it, but if you don't already have a link to your comment wall on there then maybe that is something you might want to add! Putting a link on your home page would make it a lot easier for readers to find your comment wall and provide you with feedback!
I really liked your story about the Sun-Goddess, and I think that is really awesome that your goal was to make your story more kid-friendly. Some of the stories from the Un-Textbook are confusing to read, and I think that is a great idea to make changes that will help readers to better understand the story. You did a good job on this first story, and I am very excited to see what other stories you add to your portfolio.
Hi Caitlyn! I like the images you chose for your website. They fit the tone and the vibe of the story. The headers also work, but the main page feels a little generic. I think that you could add more personality or a theme of some sort to tie the site together. I like the humor you injected to the story as well. I think that the comedic aspects were played up by the dramatic elements of the story. It flowed well and had a good interpretation into the new kid friendlier language. I think that you could use an introduction to your portfolio, something to explain what is going on to the people who aren't aware. I also couldn't find link to your comments page and that would be useful to have available on every page. Maybe in the footer? I also think that you should continue to pull stories and update your site.
ReplyDeleteHey there Caitlyn, Your portfolio home page looks pretty good and especially I like your banner picture of Snowy Mountain, It looks good. To make it more friendly to the user you should add the Comment Wall link to the home page so it easier to guide for people if they want to comment on your Comment Wall. Other than that everything look pretty good. I just read your first story and it was nice story and it was easy to understand and the names to sounded more western than eastern so better for eastern people if they want to read it. I think It would be better wrote who’s is who in Author note that will help a lot. One more thing you should change the banner picture of your first story so it could match your story other than that I think you wrote a good story keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHello Caitlyn. Your portfolio looks really good so far. i really liked the picture you used for your first story. It was really eye catching and unique. i looked at it a lot longer than most images, despite its simplicity. I really enjoyed your first story. You had a really unique take on the original story. I appreciated how you wanted to make an easier to read, more modern take on the story. You did a great job at accomplishing this. Your writing was really good, both grammatically and being interesting. One way to further improve the story, in my opinion, is to change the story even more. I think it would be neat to rename or maybe even reimagine the characters as completely different people or in a different setting. Overall I think your project is great so far, I am looking forward to seeing what else you will create.
ReplyDeleteHi Caitlyn! I really like your banner image of the mountains. I noticed in your story, you talk about a peak, but don’t mention the setting being around a mountain. Does Alexander live on a mountain? Since your goal was to rewrite this story in a more modern way, I wondered if you’d considered altering the setting to be more modern as well. You don’t really specify a time period or location for the story, so it wouldn’t be difficult to make this an occurrence in a modern day town. You could even include social media or news station coverage for the panic of losing Julie. You say Julie is a sun goddess, so when she went away, was there no sunlight? Was it eternal nighttime? You could talk about how this affected the people of the earth. Overall, I really enjoyed your story. I think there are some things you could elaborate on, but you’ve done a really nice job so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Caitlyn! I really like your image that you used for your portfolio home page. It gives readers a really nice backdrop to imagine your stories in. I think it would be nice if you added a little introduction to your home page so that you can draw readers in to your stories. You should also add a title to your first story so you can give readers some context going in from the tabs. I like how you started off your story. it gives immediate context to the backdrop of the story. Your description of the dance in the moonlight by Margaret is really well written and paints a good picture of the scene. I like how you kept close to the source material, but updated the writing a bit to be more modern and understandable. The name changes make the story seem more modern and relate-able as well.
ReplyDeleteHey there Caitlyn, I just got done looking over your portfolio here for the mythology and folklore section. I, like many others it seems like, really liked the layout of your page and how it looked. The image of the mountains was beautiful on the homepage. I think that for me anyways, to get a better idea of what the portfolio would hold inside it would be really beneficial to added a little longer introduction to discuss what kind of stories you enjoyed the most reading and writing. Maybe a little blurb about what kind of stories really inspire you and what kind of research in your past we might see shine through in your works. Anyways, your first story I thought was well written and a good change up from the original. All in all good job on the project and keep up the good work for the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Caitlyn! I read through your story 'Find the Sun'. You did a really good job retelling the tale in a way that kids could easily understand. I also really liked how it has this whole atmosphere of whimsy and the story really feels like something that you would find in a story book. It was interesting that you changed the names to be more relatable with modern audiences too. If I had one suggestion to make though, it'd be to change the names to something still relatable but hinting at the characters' natures. For example, Julie could be named Summer instead, which is still a common name and it fits the sun-goddess persona very well too. Other than that, I don't see anything to improve upon. The length seems really good for a children's story and the language inspires a lot of imagery. I hope you'll put some more stories up later so we can read them!
ReplyDeleteHello Caitlyn!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your stories and I especially appreciate your overall project theme. The images you used on your site really add a visual aspect to the plot. In terms of feedforward, I think it would be beneficial to include more of why you were inspired to craft this project with your particular theme. I want to hear more about your reasons for retelling the story the way you did. Also, in your "Finding Fire" story, I think it would help if the animal characters had names. This way, they are more personable to the audience and we can relate to them more or at least try to. I admire the length of your stories and the way you constructed brief paragraphs, adding moments for us to pause. Great job with your project. I look forward to reading more!
Hello Caitlyn! I am surprised I haven't seen your portfolio before today! I've got to say that I really love that, so far, your stories are all about finding something. I am guessing that this is the theme of your portfolio? Finding _____. I love it! I really appreciated the ways you altered your first story. While I haven't read the original, I can always appreciate a modernization of the language. Sometimes it can be hard to take away from the older stories what was meant to be taken away when the language is complicated. It was clever to rename the characters according to their characteristics... I noticed that right away while I was reading it. In your second story, I actually did read the source story. I think you did a great job of telling the story the way it was meant to while still adding your own touch, such as with the different animals. Overall, I think your storytelling is great and this portfolio is shaping up nicely.
ReplyDeleteHi Caitlyn!
ReplyDeleteYour storybook is coming along very well! It seems like you have already made your final revisions on your last two stories. To being, I really liked the idea of "finding..." This helped connect the class to your stories and the stories to each other. What gave you the idea to talk about the elements (fire, earth, ice..)? I also noticed that you took your own banner photo! I wish I had the idea, it definitely makes your story more personal. The second story that you posted about your animals was also very fun. You used an image to represent each animal. This broke up the text a lot, so your story did not drag on. It was easy to understand and light. I think this helps the read retain more of the story. Overall, I think that you did a great job and you have taken the advice from the other students about the changes that needed to be made to your blog!
Hey Caitlyn! First of all nice portfolio! I love the ease of access and how organized your site is. Image that was used in your site was also a good choice since it fits the tone and the stories very well. It was also nice seeing more than one image being used per story. Since I am from the Indian Epics class, I wasn't familiar with the stories that you have written, but the authors note was very nicely organized that I had no problem comparing the original from your version of the story. I also really liked the theme of your portfolio, Finding a blank. I think it was a nice way to approach a story. Overall, good job and I hope you can keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Caitlyn! I love that your story, Finding the Sun, was written in a way we could understand it very easily! I haven't read the original story, so your author's note was really great in terms of explaining the original story and the differences between that one and the one you created. I also really liked the concept of your portfolio and the pictures you chose for each story. The second story, Finding Fire, was also really well written. I LOVE the numerous pictures you put into the story and the little paragraphs you wrote next to them. It allows readers to take a break from reading whole paragraphs at a time, and just enjoy the pictures for a second. I usually end up writing my WHOLE story, then adding a picture, but I like the way you formatted your story :) Great job on this, and good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Caitlyn! I really like the design and layout of your website. I can clearly get a feel for the theme of your portfolio just by looking at your image selections and the titles of your different stories. I feel like you have done a good job at being cohesive with your stories so that as a whole your portfolio’s theme is clear. I really enjoyed reading all of your stories that you have incorporated into your portfolio. I really enjoyed reading “Finding the Sun” and I thought your story flowed really well and had some great dialogue between your characters. I feel like this gives your story more dimensions and makes it more interactive for the reader. Also, I feel like the concept for most of your stories were really creative and you did a great job at explaining the original stories in your Author’s Note! Overall, I think you have done a great job so far on your portfolio and I can’t wait to see what type of story you add next!
ReplyDeleteHi Caitlyn! I enjoyed reading your stories this week. For your first story, I enjoyed the change of scenery but would have liked to see a twist or something at the end to distinguish it from the original. Maybe she finds something else to eat that does something other than make her grow or shrink? But I get that you wanted to keep it close to the original. I also would have liked to see some more descriptive words, I found some of the sentences a little repetitive with the adjectives used. On your third story, Finding Fire, I really liked how you changed the animals and you seemed to give them stories that went along well with the original narrative. It would have been cool to see the story told in a different storytelling style from the original, maybe with more modern verse or something. All in all, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi! I loved your stories! I really liked how you made these stories more kid friendly and easy to read. Some of them that I look through are hard to understand. I like the title you have as well, it gives your project a creative and interesting twist. I also love how many photos you have included throughout this. I could definitely tell you have a creative side. Your stories were extravagant and so fun to read.
ReplyDeleteIf I had to leave a critique, I would suggest broadening your vocabulary and rephrasing some of the phrases with different ones. Sometimes I felt that what I was reading sounded a little repetitive. All in all, great work!
Hi, Caitlyn!
ReplyDeleteDespite the fact that this is the last week of class, I feel like I have not read many portfolio projects. Reading your project was a fun, new experience for me, and I truly enjoyed it!
I liked your take on Alice in Wonderland best, and felt that I could relate to the character. You did a great job of writing Alice as a college student who is sometimes absentminded and disinterested in the world immediately around her. When you rewrote the White Rabbit as a squirrel, I think you did a good job of knowing your audience. OU students definitely have a weird affinity for the campus squirrels.
I would have loved to see you expand that story into a full-fledged Storybook. It could be so cool to imagine Wonderland as a college campus, and Alice as a scared freshman who is learning to navigate a new world. If you try more creative writing in the future, that could be an interesting idea to explore!
Hey, Caitlyn, I'm from the Indian Epics class but I took Myth & Folklore last semester. I really like the topic you've chosen for your project and I really enjoyed your stories. I especially enjoyed your take on Alice in Wonderland. Honestly, I found myself wishing your stories were longer, especially the Alice one. Your images are great and so is the way your site is set up, makes it easy to navigate and connect with the stories. I was also really glad to find such a good portfolio. I haven't seen many portfolios at all this semester. I guess everyone just wanted to write storybooks. Another suggestion I have, besides making your stories a bit longer, which you could do with more description and imagery, would be to try rephrasing some of your sentences. Some of the words and phrases you use appear frequently and can be a little distracting, Other than that, great job!
ReplyDelete